"If anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am not drinking any fucking Merlot!"

Could this quote from neurotic wine buff/alcoholic Miles in the film Sideways shake up the relative popularity of wine varietals in California, and perhaps beyond?The San Francisco Chronicle investigates:

Suddenly, America's favorite red wine is also its most uncool.

Merlot sales are still rising overall, but AC Nielsen reported some early warning signs of a possible reversal Monday: the percentage of households buying it is down 2 percent compared to a similar 12-week period a year ago; repeat purchases of Merlot are down 3 percent.

[...]

Merlot achieved rapid prominence because at its best, it's the easiest fine wine for novices to appreciate. It's ironic that these are now the very consumers who won't let friends overhear them ordering it.

Katie Couric said on NBC's "Today Show" that she's heard she's not supposed to drink Merlot. A New York City waiter posted an entry on the blog waiterrant.blogspot.com in which multiple patrons chastised him ("Haven't you seen 'Sideways'?") when he told them the by-the-glass special was Merlot.

Here's my favorite evidence of Merlot's fall from grace. An interview with "Sideways" actress Virginia Madsen by writer Strawberry Saroyan in the Jan. 16 edition of the New York Times includes the following passage:

"They brought out this wine and we were like, this is really good, thinking it was the pinot as usual." It turned out to be a Merlot: horrors. "If you saw it on a menu, you'd throw it across a room. It was a Merlot from Malibu." Only connoisseurs could have such conviction.

Actresses can be forgiven for shallowness, but note the position of the quotes: when the New York Times calls someone who would throw a good-tasting wine across the room just because it's Merlot a "connoisseur," the grape has an image problem.

Though Cabernet Sauvignon is the star of France's Bordeaux region, Merlot is actually the most-planted grape there, according to Bordeaux.com, the official site of Bordeaux wines. Merlot ripens earlier, a welcome hedge for wineries against autumn rains. In the bottle, its gentle qualities have long been prized in top estates' blends to help tame Cabernet's tannins.

[...]

The wines of St.-Emilion and Pomerol, on Bordeaux's right bank, are based largely on Merlot, but consumers are mostly unaware of this because Bordeaux wineries don't usually list varietals on the label.

In fact, the wine that Miles most treasured in "Sideways," Chateau Cheval Blanc, is a blend of Merlot and another varietal he slams, Cabernet Franc. The filmmakers originally wanted Miles' fetish wine to be Chateau Petrus Pomerol, the world's most sought-after (and most expensive) Merlot.

"Quite a few film scripts cross my desk and I vaguely recall 'Sideways' asking for permission to use Petrus," Christian Moueix, who runs Chateau Petrus, said by fax. "I am afraid that at that time, I found the script unexciting and declined."

Oops. Petrus doesn't need the extra publicity, but Merlot could have used the ironic balance.

[...]

"When Merlot became popular, they grew it everywhere," says Pride Mountain Vineyards winemaker Bob Foley. "There's an ocean of Merlot out there, and a lot of it is not very good."

California was not alone in rushing to satisfy Americans' thirst for "a glass of Merlot." It is also widely planted in Washington and New York states, not to mention Italy, Chile and Australia. I recently clicked on "Merlot" at bevmo.com, the online sales branch of Beverages & More, and was offered a choice of 230. A similar click on "Pinot Noir" came up with only 90. This year.

"Merlot has been dropping in sales," says Wilfred Wong, e-commerce cellarmaster for Beverages & More. "The trend has already been set. Syrah has really been gaining and so has Pinot Noir. As the movie ("Sideways") comes out in DVD, it will continue."

However, a random survey of Bay Area sommeliers turned up a surprising shared conclusion: Every one said that while Pinot Noir sales are rising, Merlot sales by the glass aren't falling sharply yet. Cabernet Sauvignon is taking more of a hit here, not a bad thing as Cabernet doesn't match food as well as light-bodied Pinot or gentle Merlot. The rest of the country is different.

"Where we're really seeing it is in our restaurant in New York, Per Se," says Paul Roberts, wine director for the Thomas Keller restaurant group that includes the French Laundry in Yountville. "I always thought for a long time, with Merlot and Chardonnay, people didn't know what they were ordering. They were ordering a beverage. Now they're ordering Pinot Noir that way. In New York, in what you'd call B-level restaurants, you used to need Merlot by the glass. Now you need Pinot Noir."

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Most cliches started as truths. "A glass of Merlot" became a substitute for "a glass of red wine" for a very good reason -- few red wines are better by themselves before a meal, or just as a cocktail. Starting at the bar with a glass of a heavier wine, like Cabernet or Zinfandel, requires subsequent wines to also be big and bold, or they will be overshadowed. However, gigantic wines overpower most foods, so you're trapped.

Merlot's gentle nature makes it acceptable with a wide range of foods -- not as wide as Pinot Noir, the default red-wine choice for difficult pairings, but still good with anything from meatless fare ("It has a tobacco quality that comes out nicely with vegetarian dishes," says Roberts) through chicken to wild game. Many winemakers I spoke with like Merlot best with lamb. Tracy said he often serves Merlot at La Toque with fish in red wine sauces.

Foley, Pride Mountain Vineyards' sole winemaker since its founding in 1992, says Merlot's steep rise in popularity and sudden fall from grace is an American phenomenon.

"The U.S. is kind of new to wine," says Foley, an East Bay native. "There's a tendency to discover something and then overdo it. It happened with white Zinfandel, it happened with Chardonnay."

Now, it's happening with Pinot Noir. Foley, who has been making Merlot since his parents planted a family vineyard in Alamo in 1964, says he hasn't seen "Sideways" and will brook no sweeping statements against Miles' least- favorite grape.

"Anybody who doesn't like Merlot, try mine," says Foley. "If you still don't like Merlot, that's fine."

More for the rest of us.